Ever heard of the term esoteric programming language ? Although those languages are often not really designed to be simple (like Brainfuck ), readable (like Whitespace ) or even linear (like Befunge or Piet), most of them are turing complete, meaning they’re as powerful as “normal” languages.

Last week I had a closer look at LOLCODE!

Code in LOLCODE looks like this:

HAI
I HAS A CATNIP ITZ 3
IM IN YR LOOP UPPIN YR CATNIP
   VISIBLE SMOOSH "I LUVZ CATNIP ITZ " AN CATNIP MKAY
IM OUTTA YR LOOP
KTHXBYE

Lolcode is fun to write and although inefficient, you can indeed do pretty much everything. There’s even a formal Lolcode 1.2 specification and a course on codeschool to learn the basics :-)

I decided to write a program that actually has some use, so I wrote a Pokemon Go IV rater in lolcode, check it out on Github.

A solid Arkani with 91%!

It calculates the special IV values (individual values) for a given pokemon (which are unique to each pokemon), you’ll just have to enter what kind of pokemon it is and some stats for it:

Try it

You can try it here: repl.it.

Just hit Run and enter your stats at the right. You can also use lol-coffee if you want to run it locally.

Unfortunately, it misses arrays and lists (as for now, there’s a reserved keyword BUKKIT for future versions), so I rewrote those as simple function calls, which is why the program ended up to be ~700 LOC. Other actions like input is really simple, here’s the beginning where the user gets asked all of the input values:

HAI
VISIBLE "O HAI!"

BTW GIMMEH GIMMEH GIMMEH!
I HAS A POKEMON_NR, VISIBLE "GIMMEH POEKMON NR", GIMMEH POKEMON_NR
I HAS A MY_CP, VISIBLE "GIMMEH CP", GIMMEH MY_CP
I HAS A MY_HP, VISIBLE "GIMMEH HP", GIMMEH MY_HP
I HAS A MY_DUSTPRICE, VISIBLE "GIMMEH DUSTPRICE", GIMMEH MY_DUSTPRICE

BTW SOEM MAGICAL MAHT FUNTCION HOW TO CALCULAET CP W00T HOW IS THS EVN WURKIN
HOW DUZ I CP_MULTIPLIER YR LVL
	BOTH SAEM LVL AN 1, O RLY?, YA RLY, FOUND YR 0.094, OIC
...

kleemans.ch

Writing Lolcode

Try it